I am flying in a very unusual, and unprecedented way (for me that is). I fly on airplanes all of the time. That is not the unusual part. In fact, I am flying on an airliner today. What is most unusual is my physical condition while flying. The doctor said that I have a very serious case of labrynthitis or some such word that is related to and more commonly expressed as a form of vertigo. This is the first experience of this sort for me. If you have never had it, try to avoid it. If you have had it, you know the feeling. In fact, judging from my head movements and feelings, one might think I had some other neurological disorder- with the head movements, rapid eye shifts. Even walking is a challenge. Doing a straight line sobriety test would be a sure failure. I have already had the looks from some folks that say, “My, oh my, look at that man, and it is only 6am. He has a serious drinking problem.” Fortunately, Marlene is my witness and defender.
So, the flying exacerbates the feeling. I am flying in the air with a sensation of flying sideways or upside down. What makes it worse is that I am on a drug for the dizziness and another anti-nausea medication. The first does not seem to help at all. The second is marginally beneficial.
I decided the trip was too important for me to miss. So, I decided to travel against the appeals of family and friends to cancel. But, I am glad I went. There is something important for me in all of this. First, I have been blessed with incredibly sound health. I have never had broken bones. I have never been on serious, mind altering drugs. I have never been subject to substance addictions. I have always been able to function with clarity and with little interruption to sound movement and thinking. So, I now know what it feels like to be “out of it” while trying to be very much “in to it.” I empathize in a very small way with those who have physical challenges that keep them from the most basic, freeing movements. It is a slight experience, but one nonetheless.
Second, I have a new appreciation for what it means to have ones “bearings” and “balance.” There is little that I can do about this physical disequilibrium. But, there is much that can be done about spiritual equilibrium. Nothing need ever throw that out of balance. Having experienced death of a child, severe loss, rejection, failure and serious setbacks, God is with us and will never leave us. The spiritual anchor holds much better than the frail frame that contains the spirit. There is never the need to sway and swagger in one’s spirit, if the Holy Spirit is firmly in control.
Third, there can always be a measure of certainty in uncertainty. I have been told that this could last days or weeks or months. I am hoping for days. I am currently in day 4 with little progress. But, I am not anxious, panicked or frustrated. I hope to be free from these symptoms soon. But, it is pretty much the same as a few days ago. However, so far, so good. I am amply supplied with everything good from a God who is always good. Nausea is little in light of eternity.
So, whether flying right-side up or upside down, I am confident that God is in control. Neither feeling well or ill seem to disturb peace or impact it really at all. Peace and confidence in God should always transcend circumstance. That is the very nature of peace- it is undisturbed. I just hope in the meantime, I don’t bump into too many people as I stagger down the hallway. That would be a rudeness that would truly disturb me.