Ephesians 4:17-32 is not unlike many passages in the Bible. There are strong statements, warnings and cautions. It is firm and decisive. We are thoroughly aware that there is a way that we should not follow- a way that is problematic in its essence. The passage begins, “I insist that you must no longer live like Gentiles.” Now, that can perhaps be more clearly explain by experts. But, that is precisely the problem. The experts have differing views on what that means. You see, at its core, the caution is to refrain from living like everyone out there because that is what Gentiles were- everyone out there. They were those of other nations and religions aside from Israel itself. In other words, don’t live like all of those folks out there. It is a little opaque to the common reader and perhaps the seasoned expert.
Don’t get me wrong. There are enough specifics to give us a flavor of what we should not do. Specifics like lying, anger and slander are clearly bad and singled out as unacceptable behavior. However, there are other cautions in these verses that are a little more general in nature. “Don’t give the devil a foothold.” How is that done? Where does Satan prefer to plant himself? How does he set up shop? Does the devil have certain footholds that are more difficult to root out than others?
“In your anger, don’t sin.” O.K.!? Can you be more specific, please? It is apparently possible to be angry and sin and it is possible to be angry and refrain from sinning. I have my thoughts on the matter. But, admittedly, it requires some explaining any way one might slice it. We associate fallenness with anger when it is a human trait, unless we leverage the famous “righteous indignation” idea to our own advantage as some do. Most folks who use this verse liberally are the ones who shouldn’t be using it at all, since what they are justifying by using it is largely unjustifiable. It is perhaps just best to not be angry at all, which oddly is what verse 31 admonishes- “get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger. . . .”
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouth.” Much of what people say has some level of unwholesomeness to it. Our culture is filled with taints of sarcasm, self-deprecation, self-advancement and the like in most conversations. But, what level is acceptable?
“Do not grieve the Holy Spirit . . . .” Now that is perhaps the most difficult to define of all of them. This is obviously something different than blasphemy. But, this kind of language does not appear anywhere else in the Bible. Again, there are some mighty good ideas of what that might mean. However, opinions vary as to what grieves the Spirit most- false worship, pride that God opposes, rejecting the conviction of the Holy Spirit by closing the conscience, refusing his gifting, attributing divine work to self-effort, sinning with apparent impunity, etc. It all fits. But, other things might be added as well. Do not grieve the Spirit could happen in a number of ways. Why didn’t Paul take the time to give some examples?
Gentile living, unwholesome talk, grieving the spirit, sinless anger, devil’s foothold; this seems broad, barely defined and leaves lots of room for interpretation if taken out of the context in which it all appears. But, fortunately, it has context. It is couched in a crystal clear letter that draws attention to the one element that will keep us from falling into any of those trouble spots and since with a degree of certainty. Do this one thing and then live worry free. You will not need to guess what footholds might be possible or that grieving the Spirit holds any potential. It is living a life of love.
Ephesians 4:2 speaks of humility, gentleness and patience which apparently culminates in a tangible and relational love. It all results in the ability to love deeply enough so as to bear with whatever people may do. Ephesians 4:15 tells us to not only speak truth; but speak it in love. That is a sure sign that the truth will liberate rather than bruise. Ephesians 5:2 sums it up by saying, “walk in the way of love just as Christ loved us. . . .”
To possess a deep love for God and people makes the other generalities seem much clearer. I have a suspicion that the Gentiles were motivated by many things, a Christ-like love was not one of them. Satan cannot gain a foothold if we love deeply because love is Teflon to which bitterness, rage, slander and lust- the devils arsenal- cannot stick. Unwholesome talk becomes less feasible if we love people and cannot stand to bring injury to them. In fact, unwholesome talk becomes unbearable and embarrassing if we are committed to loving people and bearing with them. People who love have the best interest of God and others in their heart. They will be thoroughly unable to grieve the Holy Spirit.
It is a safe bet to say that if we love deeply, the other stuff will take care of itself. And, though Christ-like love is not about emotion, it impacts our emotions deeply. Though Christ-like love cannot be relegated to one activity, it penetrates every activity and shapes every thought and word. A good prayer for everyday would be, “Lord, fill me with your love so that I am consumed by it, my behaviors are shaped by it, my relationships are marked by it and my words are colored by it. Let me think, speak and live motivated by your love. If there is anything that is unlovely and unloving in me, uproot it and replace it with the love of your Son, Jesus Christ. Amen!” What a great way to start the day.