Denial: one of the most powerful words in the dictionary. It is most often used in the Bible with terrible consequences. It connotes losing, weakness, anger or rejection. It is most often demonstrated by a stark refusal to do that which is good or refusal to accept a person whom God has created or to reject God himself. It is indeed a very brutal and costly attitude and action. The bane of Peter was his denial of knowing Jesus. In all these senses, denial is that which turns against God and good.
But, that is not all there is to denial. As powerfully bad as it can be, it takes that same strength of rejection to put us in the best place- the place where we are completely God’s. There is a kind of denial that stubbornly refuses self-advancement and self-preservation to be our highest aim. This kind of denial is a commitment to get oneself out of the way, so one can see clearly. Jesus simply told us that if we want to be followers of his, we will begin our course, by denying ourselves- repudiate the stuff that fills our minds and hearts that are not worth keeping and that obscure our view of the most important aim, to follow Jesus (Luke 9:23).
The same powerful refusal to let God reign in life when turned around is a powerful refusal to let the self reign in God’s place. It is the stubborn refusal to put oneself first. It is to take all of the momentum bending toward self-protection and bend it back to God. The act of denial in this sense is a very spiritual one. It is to say, daily, “I refuse to put my self-interest above God’s interests. I reject the notion that my needs are most important. I choose to silence the tempting noise that leans me perpetually toward self-satisfaction.” Denial is the first step of repentance. In fact, if repentance means turning around, denial is the pivot foot that moves us in the right direction.
Denial is a reorienting word. It necessarily precedes the first step in every 12 step program. It is the willful commitment to orient our thoughts, attitudes and actions to live for God. What crippled Peter during Jesus trial enabled him to experience Pentecost. The difference was simply whom he was denying. The new pattern established, Peter charted a new course. The same can be true for us.