The view from the other side of the tracks, or the other side of town or the other side of the fence is always different from our present viewpoint. The view from the other side of criticism is quite different. The person criticizing others sees things differently when he/she is the one criticized. It is a very different view. The person who is wealthy sees things differently when the money vanishes. The person trapped in sin sees things differently once the sin is forgiven. The same is true for just about everything- prosperity, pain, pride, problems. There is a flip side, an unseen side, an un-experienced side that cannot be known until one is on the other side. Then, life looks different. Life is different.
Our son recently went to be with Christ. I think that the only “other side” that most people think about in this kind of circumstance is the other side of time- namely heaven. I have hundreds of cards to give credence to this. They say something like, “he is in a better place now” or “he is walking with the one who made him” or my less favorite “God took him home.” The other side of time (heaven) must be great. We spend much time reading and thinking about it. It is only those who have been on that other side that understand how wonderful the other side could be- and that is not me and you. A very light reading of the experiences of Daniel, Ezekiel and John give us a hopeful glimpse of the other side, though we are third hand listeners.
However, there is ANOTHER “other side” in this circumstance that is rarely addressed. I think it is rarely addressed, since most of us are unaware of the other side. That other side is the other side of the suffering while we are still on this side of heaven. Suffering is viewed by most as a nuisance at best and a grueling burden for the most part. Either way, the whole notion of prayer is to be rid of the suffering. Even though we hear that it shapes our character (Romans 5:3-5; James 1:2-4; 1 Peter 1:6-7) and is an example left for us by Jesus (1 Peter 2:21) and a privilege to undergo (Philippians 1:29) and even to be sought at times (2 Corinthians 12:9-10), we still have a tendency to just want the suffering to be discarded at the earliest possible convenience. In other words, like most other issues with two sides, this is one where we just cannot see any benefit of the other side unless we have been there. But, there is. I just quoted Scripture alluding to it. We just don’t like to buy into it. But, Paul and Jesus and James and Peter had been there and that is perhaps why they could see another side.
Trust me when I say that I am thankful that Mitch is on the other side of time- eternity in heaven. There is no longer the possibility of pain, sorrow, tears or injury for him. That is done. I am deeply thankful. But, in some mysterious way, I am banking on there being another side to his pain while he was with us- a character-shaping, faith-building, ability-to-see-life-in-a-bigger-way side. I saw something in Mitch through this. He grew in love and patience. He became my spiritual senior at many points. He lovingly nudged me to look at some of my own shortcomings. I was never on the “other side” with him. But, I could see in his eyes that there was another side.
So here we are on the other side of our child’s death. We are currently experiencing a very unusual other side. Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” We often cannot see another side of mourning. Again, mourning is seen as something to be “gotten over” at the earliest convenience. But there is another side that is less gruesome to mourning. I am as close to Jesus as I have ever been. I feel like I can hear his heartbeat. I feel as though I am carried at times and can watch the grief lift when I call upon him to do so. I formerly had conversations with people and conversations with God- the two completely distinct. The separation is less stark now. I am aware of the Holy Spirit’s listening ear at everything I say, regardless of its intended audience. He answers, regardless of whether I am speaking directly or indirectly to him. I feel an unusual warmth. I am more quiet and contemplative.
I can only say that Jesus words in Matthew 6 are true. There is a comfort, an unusual comfort, that comes to those who mourn. Someone may ask whether Jesus’ intended kind of mourning was mourning over sin that leads to spiritual death or mourning over the devastation of our sinful condition expressed in physical death. I believe the answer is likely “yes”. I am mourning, but blessed by what the “other side” is like for those of us who are “in Christ.” I never want to experience this again. But, I have found that Christ is very much Lord of the “other side.”