I Give

When I was a child, we would play hide and seek.  It was most fun in the dark of night.  Anyone from the pre-Nintendo generation found themselves doing full-bodied games- foot races, tag, red rover, hop scotch, baseball, stick ball, leap frog, cartwheels and summersaults (not official games), and a host of other games that would wear us out and prepare us for a late night time of sharing scary stories, again these were all best at night.  I remember my brother running from someone in a night time game of tag only to run into a stack of pipe hidden in the dark from the unlit side of the house.  I was hot on his heels only to hear the loud "ping" of his teeth hitting the pipe at full speed.  Now THAT was a good game of tag.  There were legitimate wounds.  He is still missing a portion of his tooth from that one at 56.  But, I still have the satisfaction of tagging him. 

But, hide and seek was the best, especially at night.  Count to 20 or 50 or 100 (for the more mature counters) while everyone else would hide.  We lived on multiple acres with multiple buildings (house, shop, woodshed, etc.) some huge trees and a field of alfalfa.  There were plenty of hiding places.  I was the youngest in many of those games.  When I was "it" the others would hide in places that would exasperate me after what seemed to be hours of searching (hindsight would suggest it was more likely four or five minutes).  After a period without success, I would yell, "I give."  A more grammatically mature and complete statement would be "I give up."  I was surrendering all hope on the search.  I was admitting defeat.  I just wanted someone else to be "it" so I could do the hiding and exasperate them. 

Through the years, I have seen a number of exasperated people express the same sentiment in a plethora of ways:  I give; I’ve had it; I’m finished; I can’t take it anymore; I’ve had all I can take; I surrender; I’m done; I’ve reached the end of my rope; I want off the merry-go-round; I quit; I resign; I’m exhausted; I don’t want to do this anymore.  I’m sure there are dozens more.  These statements all have two things in common- 1. a shared sentiment of frustration or discouragement, and 2. a brokenness that either crumbles a person or opens them up to a new game.  Spiritually speaking, giving up is best if it opens us up to a new game- one not owned and operated by us, but by God.  The broken or poor in spirit who inherit the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 5:3) are people who have given up, but have or will have found more in the new game than they ever could playing the old game. 

I became a Christian saying, "I give".  I believe the apostle Paul did as well.  All of those marvelous healing recipients had given up on conventional measures.  Look them up; Jairus, the widow from Nain, Mary Magdalene, the tax collectors and the fellow next to Jesus on the cross.  They fell at Jesus feet or called out to him after trying doctors, their own ways, friends and other efforts.  But, then they found Jesus, healing and life. 

I have found that some of my most profound prayers either begin or end with "I just don’t know" or "I can’t quite figure this out" or "I don’t know what to say".  And, just like getting our spiritual life started, it opens a great door for God to work.  It is a humble beginning yearning to have God step in where we can no longer attempt success on our own.  I believe surrender to God begins a whole new game with him in charge.  Praise the Lord!

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