There are two distinct sides of family. Some may call it an upside and a downside. I would prefer calling it the side that makes you smile and the side that makes you groan. On the smile side is Christmas, birthdays, memorable holidays and vactions, playing in the back-yard, devotions and prayer together, meal-time, the hugs and kisses, teaching how to read and ride a bike, the verbal and non-verbal expressions of love and affection and, of course, those marvelous times when everyone is so content being together that they do not want the special time to end. Those all make us smile.
However, the side that makes us groan is just as much a part of family as the other. That includes a number of experiences: the discipline of our parents, a spouse or sibling who knows us well enough to question our actions or attitudes, diminished privacy, missing respect or honor, being taken for granted, familiarity that may not breed contempt but culminates in periodic frustration, expectation of reinforced love that never comes, idiosyncrasies that have become pet peeves through the years, things borrowed without permission and annoying characteristics that have never been fully embraced by the annoyed.
Both make up our families. I have a son that says I eat too loudly (apparently smacking my lips). But, he is the same one who is thrilled with our frequent conversations. I have another son who loves when we fish and chat but prefers the fishing to the chatting and knows that I prefer the chatting over the fishing. [I am less proficient with the fly rod than he is. Talking gives me a great excuse for the inevitablly inferior fishing results.] Nevertheless, he is the one planning most of the fishing trips. My wife forgets to turn on her cell phone uniquely when I am in the greatest need to contact her. Yet, she is the love of my life and more committed to Jesus and prayer than anyone I know. And, I have had the irritating habit of whistling and singing too early in the morning for anyone in my family. But, no one faults me for uncontainable joy- in fact, they rather enjoy it.
Yet, I am convinced that no one in the Thomas clan would try for another family. The smiling parts have far outweighed the groaning parts. We have given them enough time to shine. Marvelous memories linger with a wonderful aroma. That has become apparent as we have passed many days in the hospital smiling, laughing and crying with joy tears as we recount how wonderfully we have been shaped together and have been shaped by one another.
As I compare this to the church, I have been marvelously pleased with the Free Methodist Church family. Please make the comparison to the family complete. I am not saying that I have approved of everything I have seen and experienced. I have been saddened on many occasions. I have had to exercise church discipline that has left me with a heavy heart for months. I have witnessed churches wrestling with matters of inconsequence while ignoring the direct command to love one another. I have seen people overreact to petty frustrations. I have listened to my share of lazy and shoddy preaching as well as bad music. I have seen pastors treated unfairly. I have seen congregations treated unfairly. I have attended prayer meetings where far too little time was spent in meaningful prayer (those ones should be called "chat meetings with sprinkles of prayer". And, I believe the reader could fill in the possible disappointments left out. There are many.
On the other hand, I have found my life intertwined through this God-blessed community with people in ways that makes most biological families blush in comparison. I have friends through whom the Holy Spirit has spoken to me deeply. I have met God in worship services that could best be described as "tastes of heaven." I have been convicted (in a very good way) to the core through the blessed and prophetic ministry of those who listen to God. I have seen forgiveness at levels the world only could hope to see. I have witnessed miracles, profound love, inspiring generosity and heart warming acts of compassion. Now, in the midst of our own crisis, people are coming out of the wood-work with letters, emails, calls and visits. I have had too many people to count say, "what can I do to make your life easier duing this time." I have had medical personnel here tell me that this is the most unusual display of care that they have witnessed. Last week I had someone ask me, "Tell me about this Free Methodist Church. I’m impressed." Of course, I told them about the side that makes me smile; specifically the present expressions that are most visible and the relationships that have developed through the years making this possible. This is family. We are blessed with this family. More than 8,000 people have viewed our son’s wedding pictures. People have been praying for us and have told us so from Germany, India, South Africa, the Philippines, Taiwan, Brazil, Mexico, the Congo, Greece, Hong Kong, England all over the U.S. and too many other places to mention- tens of thousands I would suspect. I am speechless with gratitude for this family.
I have been saddened, however, through the years that I have served the church to hear people (most are those cruising through churches) who never give the church enough time or invest enough of themselves to allow the full benefit of being family to grow. They meet a disappointment, or see a fleshly side of a believer, or allow an annoyance to dominate their view of Christ or His church only to move down the road and repeat the experience. Their conclusion is invariably one of severe disappointment in the church. I have read the term given to this growing sentiment as those who "love God but have given up on the church." Of course, any believer truly knows that you can’t love God and give up on His church. That is not a viable option. Perhaps they mean "a particular expression of church." But, my guess is that many of these have never given themselves permission to love the family long enough and deep enough and have not allowed the family to love them long enough and deep enough to make them smile. They have only groaned.
I love the church- universal and holy. I love the Free Methodist part of the family. It has caused me to groan with a heavy burden from time to time. Even now, there are some places experiencing difficulty. But, I have been around long enough to see the presence of God in this church. Even now, I am smiling, thrilled at the love we have experienced from this family. It has made me smile enough through the years to embed laugh lines in my face and soul. Thanks.