I have never quite figured politeness and protocol in communication. I know there are some things that are acceptable to share about ones self and their are things that are not. I know gossip when I hear it and understand how devastating it is. I am not a bumbling protocol wreak. Those qualifiers aside, I just do not get it when people are as private as they are. My wife, Marlene, "gets it" in the communication protocol game. She lets me know occasionally that "not everyone needs to know absolutely everything about us." I was told by my mother when I was young, "not everyone needs to know everything that is rolling around in your head all of the time." I excelled on my school debate team, winning most of my competitions. My debate teacher said, "talking does not seem to pose a problem for you. You just need to stay on task." In fact, for those who know me well, I do not even need an audience to talk. I talk to myself frequently. And, if I might say, it is usually a stimulating conversation. Both sides of me agree on that.
Why do I say all of this? It is because I will never figure out why people are so private and reserved when it comes to sharing anything. It seems to me that far too many people operate from a "need to know basis." Don’t you just love that line. It carries a feeling of mystery and secrecy to me. It conjures up thoughts about a department of defense agency with classified information that is safely guarded. "Sir, I can only share that on a ‘need to know basis.’" I, however, am more inclined to put everything good, dangerous or life changing in the category of "need to know basis." That’s why I have a hard time hiding my thoughts and feelings about love, life, family, God, human suffering, salvation, eternity, life’s disappointments and joys. This stuff is important. I believe everyone needs to know about it. I am convinced that everyone needs to know Jesus Christ. Therefore, the "need to know basis" applies, according to my logic, to everyone about most things that don’t fall in the categores of evil speaking, gossip or the polution of negativity. Everything else is fair game if it is about the matters of the heart, soul, life struggle or joys. Just get it out there. Most people need to know.
I am writing this for a reason. We are presently in the hospital where everyone knows our name and our son’s dilemma and our confidence in God. We have told people about our son’s struggle with what they are calling a likely terminal illness. We have shared the ruddy details of the illness and our journey. But, we have also prayed for more workers, patients and their families than I normally would do in a day as a pastor. I do not see the value in hiding our son’s illness. I just assume that most people don’t want to walk their journey alone either. They just don’t know how to get the information out in a way that is not damaging them or their loved ones. Consequently, we constantly mention our situation in emails across the church and periodic updates to superintendents and church leaders. I believe the people we talk too about the hope we have in Christ needs to know that it applies to them and is accessible to them as well. In our situation, I believe that anyone who is committed to intercession needs to know about our son so they can do what they do with vigor and faith. In like manner, I believe that others need to know that God loves them and desires to see them whole and has the ability to make that happen.
In some sense, I believe most people are far too private. They are too private with their faith, their resources, their hearts and emotions. Let it out there. There are many people who "need to know." I believe our love of protocol and privacy has gotten a little out of hand. God never intended us to be sequestered in a world of silent struggle and private thoughts about things of grave importance. I would suggest a simple strategy. If you have something to say that can help anyone in anyway- say it. They might need to know it.